Click Here To View the Coinciding You Tube Video
My life as a single mom came with it's ups and downs but compared to many other single parent homes, we had a great life!! After leaving Mike, I had another relationship that produced my awesome son, Johnathan. My children became my world after my failed relationships. Well, let me back up a tad, if you watch the YouTube video, you will notice that I didn't want children and that I was basically a selfish person as a young adult so when my children were very small, I cared for them but still thought a lot of myself. When Sarah was around 12 and Johnathan was 8, I came to my senses, and realized that being a mother was a privilege, not a chore!!
I quit all my jobs and ran a small business out of my home that made next to no money. We lived on food stamps and my income tax refund, but we were happy!! I began to invest in my children. I began to get to know them and they became my friends. My children are amazing. Their personalities are totally opposite so life got interesting at times. They fought like normal siblings but now they are good friends.
When my eyes finally opened and I began to see the treasure my children are, my life became fuller and richer. I learned so much from them. Sarah is full of adventure and is all heart. Johnathan is steady and logical. They are both intelligent, they both care deeply for people, they both have a strong faith in God and maintain good family values. I truly believe that both of them can do whatever they put their minds to do. I am very proud of them both.
People who know my children comment on what a good parent I must have been. I always thank them then think to myself, "if they only knew!" But in reality I was successful at parenting alone and let me tell you why....
First I have a strong faith in God, my creator. He knows me and my children better than we know ourselves. He has good planned for us and if someone tries to harm us, He turns it around for our good. Every hard time in our lives was designed to teach us how to live a better life down the road. God is the primary reason we had a great single mother home.
Second, was our friends and family. I mentioned a few in the video so I won't mention them again but I did fail to mention the Marti's. Kurt and Linda were always there for both of my children in many different ways. I always had someone in my life to help with everything.
You have probably heard that you are who you hang out with and I believe that my children and I carry a little part of every person who invested in us as we lived our lives as a single parent family.
If you are a single parent, I encourage you to get involved in a church.... Take your time to find one. Churches have personalities and not every church will welcome you. Not every church will know what to do with a single parent home. You must ask God to bring the right people in your path. I never looked for these people, they just showed up. God worked through them to help me.
I try to always stay positive but in this case I have a few dont's for any single family:
1. Don't be a victim. That "poor me" attitude won't get you anywhere in life. When a trial hits you, figure out what the life lesson is and learn from it.
2. Don't expect a handout from anyone, trust God to provide.
3. Don't let people take over your children. God gave them to you, He will give you the wisdom to parent them. People are to help, not to disable you.
On a positive note:
1. Communication and loving the kids is much better than excessive discipline.
2. Always point out the good in your children. If you need to correct them, do it and move on. Celebrate the good much more often than correction.
3. Speak to your children what you want them to be even if you don't see it. They will become what you expect of them, so be sure to be positive with them.
Trust me, I have learned from my own mistakes......Your kids are just as amazing as mine, so find their genius and tell them about it...you will be amazed at how wonderful your life becomes.
